Things that I HAVE done (but probably should not have)

I once ate three daffodils for a bet. I have since discovered that the bulbs are poisonous, presumably the flowers are not.

I rode a motorbike across a fairway at the local golf club. This was not deliberate vandalism, rather it was born of necessity as I was going too fast to negotiate the bend alongside the course.

Some friends and I were banned from a local pub for playing shove ha'penny. A bit harsh you may think, but the ha'pennies were going right across the bar.

On a trip to a supermarket, I once found myself consistently thwarted in every aisle by old people and their trolleys getting in the way. I sought revenge by slipping random items into their shopping whilst they were looking elsewhere.

Some years ago, I was asked to stand in for my boss to cover the inductions of new inductees. He was to accompany me for one induction and then I would cover the remainder while he was on holiday.  Before we met the first group, he explained that I was to welcome them and initiate one of those "Let's go round the room and say a little bit about ourselves" sessions.  I was to kick it off and my introductory speech went as follows;

"Good morning and welcome to (name of company), my name is (name deleted for obvious reasons). I have worked here for a number of years and am currently employed as (not going to give this away either). I have held a variety of positions during my time here and at weekends, my name is Mandy."

The expressions on their faces and the deathly hush that followed is something that I will always remember. Surprisingly, my boss was less than impressed.

At this point, I should point out that all of these things happened a long while ago and that I am much more mature and responsible now.